Thursday, May 11, 2006

Consideration

I think I'm a pretty understanding guy for the most part. I try not to get into mudslinging if I can help it. I try not to insult someone or degrade them if I don't think it will do any good. But Bipolar people are ANNOYING! I mean one minute you hate me the next you can't live without me. Make up your god dam mind. I recently had a chain of events happen to me which pissed me off. This is my blog so I'm writing about it. :) To setup this let me give you some background the person in question is someone I know, have been intimate with several times, and have been on numerous dates with. ie this is not a new relationship. For the rest of this post I'm going to refer to this chick as Bi-p just for reference sake. :P

Event 1: Tues night I get a call while I'm playing on the computer. I answer the phone to a where are you. I had forgotten to let her know it was going to be later tonight than it had been scheduled last night. Bi-p assumed it was going to be the same time tonight. I appologized for not letting her know, and told her we wouldn't be leaving till at least 8pm. She says you didn't call me today. I guess at this point I'm suppose to call her every day and check in with her. I tell her I know I'm going to see her tonight there wasn't a need to call. She says what are you doing?. I say I'm playing a game. She says ok and hangs up. I've never liked being hung up on so this just sets the mood for how the rest of the night is gonna go. Make note though that she called and confirmed the date alittle over an hour before we were suppose to met.

Event 2: We are on the way to High Pockets (where we are suppose to met) I call her 3 times. Leave 1 message and get nothing at all from her. You should understand that Bi-p doesn't go ANYWHERE without her phone. She answers calls when we are out on dates and text messages friends in movies. Now she can't pick up the phone for me? I give her the benifit of the doubt and assume she's in the shower or something.

Event 3: I spend alittle over an hour at High Pockets, she doesn't call, she doesn't show up, she is a no call no show. I'm alittle curious at this point what happened. But I'm beginning the feel like I'm getting blown off. Again she could have called in this hour or so gap of time but didn't. I should prolly mention at this point that she's told me she loves me. I mean really, she loves me but she can't pick up a fucking phone?

Event 4: After High pockets I go eat. While inside the restraunt I miss her call. She leaves a message on my phone saying that she is out driving. I'm thinking WHAT?!?! She stood me up, didn't call, and now she's out DRIVING instead of meeting me! Now I should take a moment to let you know that Bi-p has canceled on me NUMEROUS times due to headaches, not feeling well, or various problems. Up to this point I haven't gotten mad at her I've simply accepted it as part of seeing her. I say that to let you know HAD she called I wouldn't have given her grief. She had canceled the night before and I didn't give her any grief about it. So now I'm pissed, I've gotten a no call/no show and I didn't even get an appology for it. I didn't even get an excuse about something being wrong. She simply didn't show up and didn't give a shit about me waiting for her. Oh ya I'm hot.

Event 5: I call her back after listening to the message. After the hellos she's "sensed" something is wrong and asks "Is something wrong?". I say "Ya, I'm mad". Her response. . . get this. . ."What have you got to be mad about?!?" She pissed now and all self rightious. I'm thinking she doesn't give a shit about making me wait, and she doesn't give a shit about pissing me off. I end the conversation, thinking maybe she'll come to her senses. But the relationship isn't looking good at this point.

Event 6: Yes the hits just keep on rolling. Bi-p sends me an email the next day. . . I'll copy and paste for fun.

I wanted you to be mad. it is easier to say goodbye when you are mad.
See....I realized that I didn't love you...i can't love anyone


It seems she's lost that loving feeling and she WANTS me to be mad so she can say goodbye. I'm thinking you JUST SAID goodbye. How can you care about someone and "WANT" them to be mad? I don't get that. I've given her the benifit of the doubt, and she's said she wants to end the relationship. Fair enough, relationship over I don't want to be with someone who shits on me and then rubs it in. Relationship over I can deal with it. Bu Bye.

Event 7: I check my messages after work the next day. She's left me two messages saying how she NEEDS me and she wants me to call her. So I call her. Her frist question "Are you still mad at me", my response "yes". FINALLY I get a "I'm sorry". So it only takes 3 days for her to say she's sorry. . .wait 3 days and a break up email. It's at this point that she start telling me how much she needs me and how she'll do anything to get me back. I'm thinking where was this chick 2 days ago? Before she was such a bitch to me. I tell her no it's over you had your shot and wasted it. She goes on for a bit about how she needs me like air and wants me back and is willing to do anything. You should note she still has appoligized for standing me up, I think she's just sorry that I'm mad, but I guess I should be happy with that because now she's finally gotten to the point where she DOESN'T want me mad. Maybe in a few months she'll figure out how she was a bitch to me. I figure it's better to just tell her NOW, because this flip flop shit is annoying the piss out of me. I tell her about standing me up and about how she didn't call or show any consideration of me or my feelings. Like my time isn't worth shit. I remind her of how patience I have been, and how I've always tried to be there for her. Then I ask her how she was there for me? Silence. . . She comes back with more I need you's. I tell her that it's a relationship not a shit on Mark club. Just because you need me doesn't mean you get to HAVE me. This is a two way street, and what have you done for me? Silence again. . . I let it linger alittle longer. Then I tell her I'm done it's over and there isn't any reason to have this conversation. I tell her again she had her shot and she wasted it. Then I tell her I'm tired of talking to her I've had a bad day and I want to go inside and be done with it. Her response "I Need you". My response "This is just another case of you not giving a shit about what I need." It's about this time she starts crying I tell her bye and she tells me about how I can't get off the phone with her because then it will be over. (I'm thinking it's been over since YOU sent that fucking break up email) I tell her bye again while she's crying, and then tell her I'm about to hang up on her, she continues crying, and I hang up on her.

Event 8: She sends me ANOTHER dumbass email. Let me copy some of this one also.

So I guess you hate me and you never want to speak with me again. So I guess I'm just going to put myself out of this misery that we call life....I have no more reason to be here.

I guess she's rotated from joy over my anger, to sadness, and now to suicide. At this point I am no longer her Dom, I'm not her protecter. As far as I've seen she ended the relationship because wanted to. I just didn't let her "change her mind" on the subject. If the other forms of manipulation on me didn't work why did she think this one would? For just a second lets talk about something I've always though was SERIOUSLY stupid. These internet guys bought a rabbit, put it on a webcam, and then threatened to kill it and eat it unless people payed to keep the rabbit alive. The dumbass's of the world paid these guys over $200,000 to keep this fucking rabbit alive. Did they not understand that rabbits get killed and eaten every day? Was it the fact that they could possible see it that made them feel so strongly. Think about this for a second, rabbits get killed and eaten EVERY DAY!!!! You could have spent that money MUCH better by BUYING two and taking care of them. I'm not even going into the fact that they could have just taken your money and STILL killed the rabbit you dumbass's. How can you trust someone who is a terriorist? (admitedly a rabbit terriorist but it was a shocking statement wouldn't you agree?) There is a REASON governments don't negotate with terriorist. They can not be TRUSTED. How can you make a deal with a crimial. By defination he's not functioning within the bounds of acceptable behavior. Do you really think he's gonna kill people for a living but honor his fucking word? But I digress. Long story short, you can't stop someone from doing something so don't try it's just a waste of time.

Event 9: Wow she lives!! . . . big shock. I should mention this is also the girl who told me that she would never kill herself, because she loves herself too much. . . Maybe she loves lying too much? Anyway up to the next installment of Bi-p crazyland. Copy from the newest letter: (I really don't think I could make this stuff up)

after sleeping on it...and now that you are gone.....MY GOD i feel better....so...since you aren't worth anything...I'll just move on.
I wouldn't piss on your face if your teeth were on fire. You think you are all that....but you aren't worth any tears from this girl. I will be incredible for someone who is worth is.
You are they type that prey on girls with low self esteem


I guess she's moved threw wanting me angery, to sadness, lived threw suicide, and now is trying out hurtful on for size. I guess this is the protect yourself part of her rising up to crush me for the terrible stuff I did. You will remember SHE BROKE UP WITH ME right? I have to admit though the teeth on fire thing is pretty dam vivid, and I've never heard it before. (kudo's for your vengence emotion:) I'm glad she feels better though, I wish her a good life. Of course she has been know to lie, so maybe there will be an event 10. . . . .

Saturday, April 08, 2006

The freedom of controling others

Orignal story: http://abcnews.go.com/US/wireStory?id=1795880&page=1

Rebuttal to the story: http://www.stats.org/record.jsp?type=news&ID=560

The orignal story was slanted pretty bad toward porn being bad for you. It also states some stuff about it being responsible for divorce and brain damage.

The rebuttal picks the story apart for not using creditable sources or "real" science to get it's information about the porn "problem". They have a pretty good point for the most part but I'm not really down with the way they rebuted it. The questions they asked at the end seemed much better thought out though and I liked them. I was curious why those questions weren't used in the article. Mainly the rebuttal goes threw the vagueness and lack of creditable sources of information. Also stating the information they do have isn't really pertinet to the topic.

I didn't think the orignal story was all that bad, I think if anything the rebuttal artical was more of a personal response. I got the feel that Rebecca Goldin Ph.D (writer of the rebuttal) was angry at ABC for the story. She seem bias against ABC, but I enjoyed her making fun of them. hehe As for the acutal subject I don't think either source did a decent job of describing it. Everyone seems to want to find a "reason" for an action, and put everything into a cause and effect situation. Just because someone is "addicted" to porn doesn't mean it's necessarly a bad thing. Maybe we should all kick our addiction to breathing. I could also go into the defination of addicted being 11 hours or more of watching porn. Do they really expect me to belive that someone who is a "porn addict" is out stealing and assualting people to get money for more porn? The equation of cocaine to porn is ludicrious. Equating "porn addiction" to "reading addiction" would be a better
choice of equating. It always amazes me when people want to control someone elses
behavior because they don't like it. If it broke up a marriage big deal she/he can find someone else. It's not the porn that broke up the marriage anyway it's the fact that she/he wouldn't do "something" that thier spouse wanted them to do. I mean really if you had a spouse who was AWESOME except she/he watched 11 hours a porn a week. Would you divorce her/him? People want to put everything into a cause and effect. What caused the divorce is a complicated subject alone, not a point and shoot. In my Oral Communcation class they talk about critical thinking. One of the major fallacies in reasoning is the "False Cause" or "Post Hoc, Ergo Post Hoc"fallacy. This is where the speecher mistakenly assumes that becuase one event follows another, the first event is the caused of the second. Watching porn doesn't cause the problem. The problem is her/him not living up the expectations of thier partner. The belief that the porn is the problem is like saying it's not the PERSONS fault for not doing what she/he should. I guess it's both aruthers belief that if you ban everything that someone can do that you don't like they will be FORCED to be this great person you want them to be. I simple don't belive that, and doubt I ever will.

Monday, February 27, 2006

My speech

The intro that isn't listed goes something like this.

Have you ever been wronged?
Known someone who has been wronged, but were unable to help them?
Known someone who abused their power, or took advantage of others?

Dueling: Fun for the whole family


Specific Purpose: To inform my audience of the benefits of legalized dueling.

Central Idea: How dueling could help crime rates, the cost of crime, and the Darwin’s theory.


Introduction
I. Grabber – Why not kill them?
II. Topic - Today I’m going to inform you about the positive aspects of killing your fellow man. I’m going to talk about dueling.
III. Credibility/Goodwill –
1) Since I was a child I have had a fascination with the duels of Medieval times.
A) I have read many books about dueling even before I started this assignment.
B) The swords and honor they portray amazes and astonishes me.
C) I have talked with many people about who reenact that style of combat.
2) Did you know the Bureau of Justice reported 40,000 violent crimes in Tennessee in 2003.
IV. Preview body – In this speech I am going to talk about the amount of money legalized dueling would save our country, how much of a crime deterrent it is and how it fits in with the Darwin theory. (pause)

Body
(Transition: You might be wondering how dueling is going to save our country money, so I’ll start there.)
I. There are 3 major costs that crime create let me tell you about them.
1) The cost of the police to protect us and catch criminals is very high.
A. In 1997 Memphis paid 2,000 people a minimum of $25,000 a year according to the Bureau of Justice. That’s 50 million a year for you non-math majors. (Pause)
B. GPO Access reported that in the budget of 2004 we spent $300 million alone to help prisoners reenter society. (Pause)
C. Duelers protect themselves and as such wouldn’t require as much police protection.
D. It’s much easier to catch someone if they are dead
2) Another cost is housing criminals after they are caught.
A. Bureau of Justice also states that there were 2 million people held in prisons in 2004.
B. Inmates are naturally aggressive and would duel each other, saving on housing costs in the process.
C. The country could sell tickets to public duels like they do in Ultimate Fighting Championship and lower your taxes in the process. (Pause)
3) A cost harder to put into numbers is the lives lost in the line of duty.
A. Did you know the Bureau of Justice reported 60 policemen died in the line of duty in 2002?
B. How much lower would that number be if dueling was legal?


(Transition: My second main point was how dueling would deter criminals. So I guess I’m going to have to say something about that too)
II. How would legalized dueling deter criminals you might ask?
1) First off you wouldn’t have to prove a criminal guilty “in a court of law” so the law wouldn’t protect the guilty anymore..
2) Second off It’s quick. There isn’t a “due process” with dueling, so there wouldn’t be any waiting for 15 years before your sentence was carried out.
3) Also up until recent times dueling was legal and crime rates were much lower.
A. In 2004 the 300,000 people were killed with a firearm according to the Bureau of Justice.
B. There weren’t any people killed by firearms in the 6th century.
C. The constitution does give us the right to bear arms, why not use them after we have them?


(Transition: My last point dealt with the Darwin theory so I’m going to tell you what that is now.)
III. Charles Darwin’s published his book “The origin of Species” in 1859.
1) To sum up the book he states that organisms evolve threw a process of natural selection.
A) To evolve means to physically or mentally change in some fashion.
B) Natural selection means a species adapts to it’s environment.
2) Smart people are more likely to win duels and therefore make that trait more prevalent.
3) Weak people will have to become smarter to survive and also help the continuation of our species.


(Transition: And now for the big finish.)
Conclusion
I. Since the beginning of mans existence physical combat has been common place.
II. Do we really want to let Romeo and Juliet fade away?
III. So the next time someone pisses you off on the highway of life, think back to this speech’s form of “cutting them off”.


Bibliography
Bureau of Justice:
http://www.ojp.usdoj.gov/bjs/

GPO Access:
http://www.gpoaccess.gov/usbudget/fy07/browse.html

Wikipedia, the free encyclopedia
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Gunpowder


I don't know how I did on it yet but I'll find out and let you know. I thought it was pretty dam funny. But the instructor said it was more of a persuasive speech than an informative speech. She'll prolly give me a bad grade on it even though I followed the rules much better than the majority of the class. Hell I think only mine and 2 others listed sources, did the Grabbers and other stuff you were suppose to do. I figured I might as well post this, as I haven't been doing much "blogging" lately. :)

Wednesday, February 01, 2006

Classes

Well I've gone to all my classes and I've gotten a feel for them. (I believe) And it looks like these aren't going to be any problem to get A's in:
Oral Communication
Service and Maintance of Micro computer
Intro to Micros

next up I have a class which has the possiblity of being tough
Micro Operatiing systems

Lastly I have the bitch, my class this year which is actually TOUGH, and I have to work at. HARD
Statistics

I've been having some trouble with statistics but now that I've got a basic understanding of how to make the calculator and excel do the stuff I don't think it's going to be that bad. But let me tell you that first week was a pain in the ASS. Along with the fact that I have twice the work to do in that class than the others. Intro to micro's is a joke, but hey it's grade and the free classes I got from Jonesboro are all C's. It's wierd thinking again in terms of my GPA. Even back in college I didn't care very much about it. But I find myself thinking about it now that I'm going back to school. On one side I don't feel that your GPA matters, and that having a high one really isn't worth all the work. On the other side I want to KNOW the material, and I don't feel you can do that without getting good grades. I think about if I had choosen medician and became a doctor with a C average. I mean I know 70% of what I'm doing. . . . Let me open you up. Mu ha ha Mistakes are easier to fix in my field. (and no one dies) But my mother said that FedEX wanted to see your transcripts from school when they hired you. I'm curious if maybe that is a trend. . . . . . See even though I don't think it will matter NOW. I do feel it might matter 5 or 10 years from now. . .

Sunday, January 22, 2006

School

I started school on Jan 17. So now I'm taking 18hrs worth of school work and working full time. *Well I still call in alot* So I don't have the extra time I use to. Posts will most likely NOT be weekly any more. This site isn't a high priority for me now.

Wednesday, January 11, 2006

Man - In the stupid

I was recently talking with a friend I have on swing shift. He's a real asshole and thinks most people are stupid.(I personally like him. :P) He's married a cocktail waitress for her looks and knows she's not very smart. He's not very attractive or charming, but she was hurt in a car acciedent and isn't as hot a shit any more. So she settled for him if he put a ring on her finger. The newness of the relationship it appears is wearing off. I don't think he's relized it yet, but he's not happy with his marriage because she's stupid. And I he knows he's not happy with his life. Let me give you alittle background while I'm at it. The woman he was seeing before his wife was crazy admittedly. But this is how there relationship had been going. Crazygirl would come over to his house do his laundry, clean up and have sex with him once a or twice a week. Afterwards she had to leave and couldn't spend the night. They didn't go out, and he didn't spend the night with her either. Nor did he take her out, or talk to her much otherwise even though they worked together. See he's a pit boss and she's a dealer and he had her convinced that it would get him in trouble. hehe I'm not joking here when I say his maintaince time on her was MAYBE 2 hours a week. And she was in the house cleaning it for him or other stuff another 6 hours a week. This guy left crazygirl to get married to his cocktail waitress. One of the most stupid things he's ever done, but I dont' think he's quite ready to hear that yet. :P Anyway my point is that men do some REALLY stupid shit too. Crazygirl is now his enemy for LIFE and his wife cares little to nothing about him. She's popped out a kid and he'll be paying child support when the divorce comes. She has forced him to make major life changes in that he no longer gets to do many of the things he enjoyed, and he's been supporting her while she's recovered from her car acciedent. The Pussy must be GOOD hehe. Doubtful actually that he's getting it that often sadly. The best way to get something out of someone is to string them along. I have no doubt she knows what's she's doing and why. I'm just curious how much she is going to hurt him fiancially. I mean he prolly deserves it because of the way he's a shithead to everyone and how he dumped a woman who was taking so good a care of him. But that does't make her any less of a jackel in my opinion. Woman can be just as ruthless as men, and intelligence isn't a requirement for cruelity.

Friday, January 06, 2006

Hathaway - Just a basic story

I've decided to tell one of my favorite stories this week. As I can tell Jenn this story anymore. For those of you who didn't know I was in the Army as a 91A which is a field medic. I wanted to be a copter polit but . . . those dam recruiters told me this would be better for my collage. Enough background though lets get on with it.

In basic training it's SOP (Standard Operating proceder) to asign a "buddy". This is the person who will get in trouble if you do something you shouldn't. The military says it's so that you learn teamwork and have someone to watch out for you in a fight. I'm still convieced it's so they can punish you when someone else fucks up. My buddy in basic was Hathaway. Picture a musculur guy (alittle TOO musculer) but alittle shorter than me. (isn't everyone? hehe) Hathaway is his last name and I don't remember his first, but he lived up to the sterotype of muscule bound brute. He was a great guy for all intents and purposes and very helpful just not so smart. (even for a Texan) While doing an obsical course Hathaway broke his leg. This of course was my fault and I had to do some push-ups. (no biggie) The docters put a cast on him and put him on light duty. *for those of you who are non-milatary types light duty means no long standing, no lifting, no marching. Well after the obsical course we has a field trip. (in an actual field . . .hehe) We had to "dig-in" which consists of making hasty fighting postions (about 10 inchs deep by 6 foot) and foxholes. (about 5 foot deep, 4 foot by 2 foot HOLE) Now because Hathaway was on light duty he wasn't allowed to dig as it was considered lifting. The drill sergent knowing Hathaway's helpful nature and short mindedness made a BIG point of yelling at him to make sure he did NOT get any sand in his cast. Hathaway of course agreed. Now normally you and your buddy BOTH dig out your foxhole, but Hathaway couldn't dig so I was forced to dig his hasty fighting postion and the foxhole. I wasn't done in time for mess but I tried. (I had gotten both hasty fighting, and about 3 feet down on the foxhole) Because I was trying to finish I was alittle late to mess. Hathaway came and got me because he was already done and I needed to go right then or miss it. I jumped out of my hole and went to mess leaving Hathaway there to his own devices. When I got back from mess is when the shit hit the fan. And I'm going to take a second to emphasize the imporatance for drill sergents NOT to let soldiers work when a docter had stated they couldn't. Recently a BIG stink had come about where a soldier had been forced to work after a docter stated he didn't need to do that. Something bad happened to the soldier and SEVERAL people were discharged from the military because of it. At the time it was one of the few things that would get a drill sergent fired because of a soldier. Hathaway had a cast and was on light duty, meaning a doctor had stated he was not to work. It's one of the reasons the drill sergent had made such a big deal about it when we arrived. Anyway back to the story. When I came back our tent was up and Hathaway was laying in it. The foxhole had also been finished. Now the tent he could prolly have gotten away with putting up, but I knew dam well I was gonna get my ass in a sling if he dug out that foxhole. So I asked him if he did it. His resopnse was "Ya man but it's ok". I was fliping I knew my ass was gonna get in trouble at this point. So I said something like "Ok?!? How is it ok, the drill sergent is going to have me doing push-ups for a month!" Hathaways response to that left me open mouth and speechless. (much like another incedent with him later on) His response was "Dude it's ok, the drill sergent said not to get sand in my cast, so I just cut my cast off". In my numb mind I knew I had went from being in trouble to being in DEEP SHIT. But at the time I couldn't talk, I couldn't comprehend how someone could be so STUPID. Well needless to say I did more push-ups, in front of the whole platton, till I had puddles of sweat under each hand and my face, than I had ever done in my whole life. To date I still haven't done that many push-ups at one time as I did back on that day. And the drill sergent didn't think it was enough. I actually did push-ups because of that for the next week. And was reminded of it again and again. See they couldn't do anything to Hathaway because as I stated he was on light duty. So I was a "buddy" for him. . . . .

*Note Hathaway was a great guy and we became good friends. There isn't anyone I'd rather have in a bar fight, or my back if I actually had to do some fighting in the milatary. I knew that he would be there for me. But some times he got me in trouble. This story was one of those cases. :)